Part of the Family

May 17, 2008

“Part of the Family”

Moving into the Children’s Center a couple of weeks ago, I was a little nervous. I am happy to report that I have found living here much more comfortable than my other accommodations. This week I got news that I will be able to stay here. This is a huge praise. Living here has not only allowed me spend more quality time with the children but also have had the opportunity to get to know the caretakers better. I feel that I have become part of the family. This past week I helped in the kitchen, making potato dumplings. Perhaps by the time I get home, I will be able to make a whole Ukrainian meal - potato dumplings, potato soup, and mashed potatoes. Being part of the family also means that I have been allowed to participate in the cleaning. This morning while the kids were at school (kids go to school on Saturday when they have been off for a holiday), I helped the three other women strip the beds. We bleached the frames and changed the sheets. It was very interesting to see what treasures each child kept in between their sheet and under their mattress; sunflower seeds, water bottles, dirty socks, hot wheels, notebooks, baby doll clothes, and even a pair of scissors.

I have also started to make an effort to become a more active part of the church family here. This past Thursday I attended a house group. I joined met in a Ukrainian home with other adults from the church. One of the young men in the group speaks English well enough to translate. We began the meeting by drinking tea and eating cookies. (You will not be able to enter a Ukrainian’s home without having tea and cookies.) After opening in prayer we sang songs of praise. We discussed Sunday’s sermon, revisiting the scripture passages. This was good for me because Sunday I was without a translator and was only able to find some of the verses and get the gist of the message but not the details. We closed by sharing prayer requests and praying together. It was an enjoyable time for me to interact with people my own age. We were able to speak Russian and English and some Ukrainian. It is inspiring to hear the stories of other believers and to see what God has done in their lives. Their passion is great. It never ceases to amaze me how God brings so many different people together in His name. This is the testimony of the church, it is greater than anyone person, it is the work of God in all of us for His Glory. Slova Boga! Praise God!

“Celebration of Life”

There are three birthdays on my calendar this month. We have celebrated two. It is a wonderful thing to celebrate someone’s life. It is crucial in the development of these children’s self-esteem that their birthday is a special day. Observing these two birthdays I gained new insight into the lives of the children I am working with.

Traditionally in Ukraine, when it is someone’s birthday they are the one who plans the party and buys the cake and ice cream. Friends may bring small gifts but for the most part the person with the birthday is responsible for the expense of the party and the entertainment of guests. For the children at the Children’s Center birthdays are celebrated at a meal. When the child comes into the kitchen he or she sits on a chair while all the other children and staff gather around them to pray a special blessing over them. Then Happy Birthday is sang, with an additional verse of Jesus loves you. Children then are presented with a gift from the Children’s Center. Both of the kids whose birthdays were celebrated were older children. They received deodorant and perfume or cologne. After the birthday gift is given, all children find their place at the table and eat supper. Ice Cream, cake, and candy is served to finish off the meal. It is a tasty treat for all to enjoy.

Both birthdays I have been a part of were celebrated in a similar fashion, however the children’s response to their celebrated day was very different. Vitalic’s birthday was the first celebrated. I have written of Vitalic before, he is the boy who speaks English very well but is terrified to use it or translate, a mystery I am still working on; please keep him in your prayers. On Vitalic’s birthday he was very quiet. He did not say anything about it all day. No one said anything about it. This made me a little nervous. I knew and I knew the kids knew because it was on the calendar outside my door. At first I thought the entire day would pass as if an ordinary day. Finally I asked Vitalic at Lunch (3:00pm) if it was his birthday (maybe I was the one confused). He quietly said yes and looked away quickly. So I asked if they would sing to him since I knew this was a common practice. He looked at me and shrugged as he answered maybe. Thankfully, a few minutes later they brought out a stool and made him sit on it so they could pray and sing for him. After the blessing, singing, and gift giving he returned quietly to his seat and ate his meal and his cake and ice cream. It was as if he was trying to hide. He was thankful for his gift to be sure and thankful that people had honored his birthday but it was not openly welcomed. It is heartbreaking to me to see a boy with such potential who is so fearful of life.

The second celebration was for Nella. She helped me put the birthdays on the calendar at the beginning of the month and everyday when we move the today icon to the present date she points out her birthday. For weeks she smiled and grinned at the thought. She was not shy about her birthday. When the day came, others wished her Happy Birthday! She thanked them gratefully. It was her day and it had finally come. She helped pass out the cake and candy- everyone was enjoying her birthday; the day she was born; a celebration of her life. She was a part of the celebration.

Everyday I spend with these kids I discover new things- about their talents, their abilities, likes and dislikes, their personalities, things that excited, things they love but I also see more of their pain, their wounds, the curses passed down to them from parents they barely know. In the time they have lived here they have been given a safe loving environment where their needs are met and boundaries and expectations are set. But the healing process is a long and difficult one. Each child has their own wounds rooted deep within them. Only through Christ will they find the healing truth they need. Please pray for the each of the children- Pray that they would become strong men and women of God and where there are lies planted, that they would be uprooted and in their place God’s love would take hold and grow deep in their hearts so that they may find healing and build a new life of blessings which they will pass on to the next generation.

“Girls will be Girls and Boys will be Boys”

No matter where you go in the world, you will find smiling girls who dream of performing on stages and being delighted in by all who will watch. You will find boys with scraped up knees and elbows, seeking great adventure. During my time here, I have seen many children who meet this description, but two stand out. It gives my heart great joy to see them partake in life as God intended it. For God has certainly made men and women both in his image but very different parts of it.

The other day I had a front row seat to the greatest show on earth, actually I was the only one seated in the audience. Nina, one of my seven year old students stopped jumping rope when she saw me sit down, “Concert, Tiffany!” is all she said. I watched as she tied one end of her jump rope to the fence and looked up at me with a smile. Speaking into the other end she made an announcement and then began to sing a song. When she was finished she bowed and I clapped. She made another announcement and picked up an American Flag from the fence. Then she began to dance, humming along as she went. She sang and danced 4 or 5 songs stopping for my applause at the end of each. It was a beautiful thing. She was getting some one on one attention that she desperately needed and my heart leapt for joy as tears swelled in my eyes at the thought of, “This is God’s desire for every child. To be loved. To be watched. To be delighted in. To be encouraged to reach for dreams to imagine. If I leave Ukraine and Nina does not know anymore English than when I came, it really doesn’t matter. What does matter is that she knows that she is loved, that she is special, that she is beautiful, and that she is valuable.

Colia is not the youngest boy in the children’s home but he is the shortest. What he lacks in height, he makes up for in orneriness. He has bruises from head to toe. He never slows down. There is never a dull moment. Like a tornado of energy he leaves and enters a room. But he is always there when you need help. He often makes sure I am taken care of. I find that I never stop laughing when Colia is around, even when I have no idea of what he is saying.

Colia is all boy. On our way to the woods the other day the caretaker could be heard yelling at him to get off his bike and walk as the road steeped downhill. “Not hearing her” Colia sped up and down he went laughing and yelling for people to move out of the way. When we arrived at the forest, he ramped his bike over a bump and into a small dip into the terrain. He circled around until he lost speed and fell to a slow stop on the ground. After about an hour and a half some of the children had to go back to practice music. A new young teacher and I were left with the other 7 children. While the caretaker was gone, Colia became bored and began pestering the girls, taking their ball. When they would finally get it back he would wrestle it back from them while they were crying and screaming at him. The young teacher yelled at him but took little action (She is only 20 and has little experience with children but she is learning). Colia would give it back to the girls when she yelled but would then take off running after them, only to take it again. Finally, I decided to do something. I was hesitant because it is difficult to communicate big ideas. So I sat with Colia, holding his arm and using broken Russian to explain to him that he need to leave the girls alone. But Colia needed something more. Like Nina he needed attention, but a different kind. He needed boundaries, somewhere to stop. Colia did not need somebody to yell at him, he gets yelled at all the time. He needed somebody to stop him. He also needed something else to keep him busy. So I took out my Frisbee and for the rest of the afternoon Colia and I passed it back and forth.

The environment the kids at The Children’s Home live in is not comparable to the brokenness from which they come. But like every kid they need one on one attention. It is hard to get this with seventeen siblings and only a handful of rotating adults. While I am here, it is my goal to take time out to spend with each individual child. I believe it is important to their development. Please pray that these opportunities continue to arise. Pray that God will guide my steps, may I go where he needs me and do his work not what I think it should be.

I have uploaded a picture of Colia and some of the pictures of Nina’s performance to the most recent album. Please remember both of them in your prayers.

Warning to all persons traveling the streets of Ukraine, DO NOT, I REPEAT DO NOT MAKE EYE CONTACT WITH ANY ANIMALS YOU MAY PASS OF THE ROAD, WHETHER THEY BE DOGS, GEESE, COWS OR EVEN GOATS- IF YOU DO THEY MAY CHARGE AT YOU. DO KEEP THEM IN YOUR HINDSIGHT IN CASE THEY DECIDE TO ATTACK ANYWAY.

As many of you know the time has come for me to apply for my Visa. Please pray for this process. Also pray for construction and finances for the new Children’s Home facility. Continue to pray for the Skala family and their ministry. Pray for the children. Please continue praying for Dr. Vladimir. I have not heard anything recently but will let you know if I hear anything. May God bless you and keep you. Thank you for being a blessing in my life.

2 Peter 3:9
“The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. He is patient with you not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.”