June 24, 2008
As we walked down the familiar path to the woods, I observed my surroundings. It was the same path I traveled during my first week in Vapnyarka but it looked very different. Trees that had been stick figures had become full with green leaves. Cherry trees were scattered throughout the clumps of trees. Big smiles painted were painted red across the faces of the children as they picked and ate the cherries. They searched through tall grass to find small wild berries, similar to wild strawberries, to delight their taste buds. Flowers of purples, blues, pinks, yellow, and reds garnished the earth where there was just dirt and a few sprigs of grass. It was a beautiful sight. And then I smelled it… The smell of rotting trash. After taking a closer look at the lovely landscape one could see the trash scattered throughout. Under the green trees lay heaps of garbage. It was definitely the same place.
As I took all this in it occurred to me that this is a lot like my life. I often think that just by allowing God to plant and grow new things in my life, the beauty produced will cover all the garbage that lies beneath it. Why is it that I have no problem receiving the blessings of God but I am unwilling to let him remove the garbage that lies beneath it? The forest was a truly beautiful place but a dangerous one for those who go there to enjoy it. They are constantly looking out for shards of glass. The smells limit the areas in which they can enjoy. And yet no one does anything about it. Like me they ignore the trash. They step around it. They may comment about how gross it smells but they do nothing about it.
I believe the problem we have as Christians, is that we are afraid to let our hands be empty. The thing we forget is that when we give our lives to God is that he wants to take our trash and give us something else, something beautiful and clean. The scripture says, he will give us more than we could even ask or imagine. The trash stinks, it is the remnants of our past. And no matter what kind of flowers are planted over it, the smell will rise out of nowhere when we least expect it and we will be exposed. We can ignore it. Our friends may even ignore it. But that doesn’t do anything to improve our lives. The pain brought on you either by your own decisions or the torment that others have heaped on you will not just disappear in the brush. The trash must be removed, completely and forever. With this removal there is freedom. The smell is gone. We remember the trash but it has no hold on our lives. How much more beautiful the woods would have been without the trash, how much more enjoyable. As I turned these thoughts over in my head, the surfacing of trash became a reality.
The boys were playing soccer. We watched. I was removing critters from crawling on my arms when I heard the care taker next to me start yelling toward the field. During soccer there is always a lot of yelling back and forth as the teams work together to get the ball in the goal. I often do not understand what is being said. At the sound of her voice I looked up. There on the field was the trash of one of the oldest boys past. Two of the boys had a disagreement about something that happened on the field. One of them was becoming more and more intense in his yelling and body movements as he made advancements toward the other boy, who is significantly smaller. The other boys were trying to pull the aggressive boy back. The caretaker was trying to diffuse it before it became worse. And then he struck, even though the other boy had continued to back down. He cornered him and struck him several times as the caretaker and children tried to pull him off. He stopped and eventually helped his friend up off the ground. Where does this anger come from? Where did he learn that this is the way to settle disagreements?
My heart broke. With all my might I held back tears as my eyes swelled. My heart was heavy. I felt angry, not at the boy but because I felt his pain. It was the same feeling I felt as I looked through the picture albums of the children. Between the pages of joyous times in the children’s center and holiday greeting cards were pictures of their parents. As I looked through the album of one of the boys whose parents I know could be taking care of he and his brothers, I became angry. Why? Why had they done this to their children? Why weren’t they raising them? Why weren’t they valuing them? Instead of helping their children find their way in the world, they had piled mounds of trash on their children. Trash that unless removed by God, will bury them to the point that they cannot even function. This is not what God intended for any of these children and it is not what he intended for us.
Now if you would allow me, I would like to take you to another side of the story. My tears, my heavy heart, the emotions I felt- I didn’t understand them or where they were coming from. Yes, the things I see are heartbreaking but the pain that goes with them belong to someone else and they aren’t crying about it. So, why am I? During my reading time I found the answer in the pages of Kay Warren’s book, Dangerous Surrender. Chapter 8, ‘A Deliberate Choice’, discusses the fact that Jesus took on our pain. When he was nailed on the cross, he felt it. He chose to carry a burden that was not his to bear. We also are called to help carry the burdens of others. I think Lewis Smedes puts it best when he says, “In suffering with somebody, we take it into our own hands to suffer. We choose to do what we do not have to do, or even want to do; we walk, eyes wide open into the pain of another human being and claim it as our own.” My love for these children is over flowing and ever growing. Every day, as I hold them, play with them, and just sit with them their suffering becomes more and more my own. Please pray for these children. Pray that God will take the trash given to them by their earthly parents and make it into something beautiful. Ask yourself what trash you are trying to hide? What in your own life needs to be removed? How can you help carry the burden of another as Christ has done for you? Maybe you have heaped trash on others. How can you stop? I challenge you with this, just as God has challenged me. Please pray with me for the children of Ukraine and the children of the world. Pray for all who are suffering. May they find the God who can remove their trash and may we all come to a place where let go of the garbage in our lives and allow God to remove it.
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
Thursday, June 19, 2008
June
Personal Thoughts:
Those who have been on a short term mission trip know that it takes weeks or even months, after your return, to unravel what God has done inside of you. I have come to the realization that it will not take me months, but years and perhaps even the rest of my life to unfold the changes taking place in my heart and to fully understand my experiences. Being in an unfamiliar environment, I have felt emotions I did not know existed. I have experienced fear, anger, sorrow, and loneliness as I have never known them before. My heart has been broken over and over again into a million pieces by the things I have become witness to. I have cried more than I thought possible. And yet I have felt the hand of God closer than I have ever felt it. My heart overflows with joy. My perspective of God has changed as I see him in places I have never seen him before, or never expected to find him. My heart is filled with thanksgiving for the church around the world and for the love of my brothers and sisters in Christ. There encouragement has been a great blessing. There is much unknown about the path that lies before me. The journey I am on has given me the opportunity to learn how to trust God in new ways.
A couple of weeks ago I traveled to Moldova, where I applied for and received my Visa. This allows me to stay in Ukraine one year rather than only ninety days. This was a scary process for me. Not so much because I had to travel to another unknown country, stay with people I did not know, or because of the slight chance that they would deny me of the Visa I sought, but because I knew that receiving a Visa meant I would be here another ten months instead of a few weeks. It was an internal battle I faced. It would have been easy for me to pack my bags and go home; home- to the familiar, to a place that I am loved, a place with just as many ministry opportunities, a place where I wouldn’t have to struggle with the language, where I know the customs, a place where I can get around on my own, be independent, be understood. It would be nice to eat a big juicy cheeseburger, to wakeboard, to flush toilet paper and to shower every day. That would have been easy. I would have no problem coming home if that is what God told me to. But that isn’t what God said. God said, “Stay. The work I have for you here is not finished yet.” This was confirmed through the encouraging words of many. “Yes God, I will stay if this is where you want me.” I surrendered this decision to Him. This is a decision that has brought me great peace. I returned from Moldova with much more than a Visa, which I will discuss later. I now have a new return date of March 19, 2009. Please continue to pray for me throughout the duration of my stay. Pray for faith, for strength, for wisdom when making decisions and when working with children. Pray that my eyes would be open to their needs. Pray that my heart would be open to God’s calling. Pray for my understanding and learning of the language. Pray that I would be brave in this unfamiliar land. God bless all of you who have been praying for me. Your prayers have made a difference, not only in my life but in all those, God brings into my life. I thank God for you. God has used your faith to strengthen mine.
MOLDOVA:
When I entered Moldova I knew very little about this small country. Riding the bus through the countryside, we saw large rolling hills, farm lands, and shepherds herding their sheep. As we neared the capital city of Chisinau, we saw bill boards and signs in the Moldovan language, which is basically the same as Romanian. The language was a blessing to Kathy and I because the letters and many of the words were closer to English than Russian. After about a 5 hour bus ride we were met at the bus station by Eira and Sergei, missionaries to Moldova. Eira’s family immigrated to Moscow from Cuba when she was six. Sergei was born and raised in Ukraine. They have been married for a year and moved to Moldova two months ago to plant a church and start ministry in Moldova.
With open arms, they welcomed us into their apartment. Their dog Tyson, they described as small but with a big fighting spirit. This we found was true. He was a little ball of energy and thankfully, friendly. Their refrigerator and freezer were filled with strawberries, sent by Sergei’s family. We ate these with sugar after every meal and sometimes in between with tea. Eira and Sergei were wonderful hosts, both with an amazing sense of humor. Kathy and I felt right at home.
Our first evening, we were able to walk around part of the city. It was beautiful. Chisinau was the cleanest city I have seen in my travels overseas. The people were friendly. We ate dinner at a local restaurant. We sampled some of the local cuisine. Afterward, we ate Ice cream and enjoyed the parks with green trees, water fountains, and flowers in full bloom. It was relaxing and soothing to my weary and nervous soul.
After a good night’s sleep we woke early so we could be at the Ukrainian Consulate when it opened. We arrived just before 9:00 and there was already a throng (Ukrainians don’t stand in lines very often) of people waiting outside. We joined them and waited about 20 minutes before they opened the gate. One man came out and started taking names. Ukrainians first, he said. A few people were allowed in the building. A few minutes later he returned with his clip board. People were trying to get his attention to be added. Sergei got his attention and told him an American wanted to get her Visa. He let us in. Sergei and Kathy waited outside while Eira and I made our way through the crowd and through the gate. As we passed through the crowd, I felt someone grab a hold of my sweater. When we were inside the gate I realized, a lady was bypassing the chaotic system all together. She was sneaking in by making the guard think that she was with us. Once inside she let go and lingered a bit. We continued inside the building and into a room to wait in another line. We got the papers. Using the guide on the wall we filled out the information. After waiting in line again, we got them turned in. We needed pictures, which we did not have. Eira and I left the Consulate, asked several people where a photo place was and after jumping on a Marshutka (A Van/Bus) we found one in a nearby neighborhood. While waiting 20 minutes for my mug shots(They are pretty bad) to be developed we exchanged the money I would need to pay for the Visa. When we returned to the photo shop exactly 20 minutes later the photos were not quite finished. As we waited a few minutes more my heart was racing. The few minutes felt like hours. We had to get them back to the Consulate before they closed for lunch hour at 12:30. With pictures in hand we ran to grab a Marshutka back. We ran(literally) past Kathy & Sergei, past the crowd and up to the gate. Out of breath, we entered the building and found ourselves in another line. Thankfully people allowed us in front of them since we only had to hand in pictures. “Come back at 4:30” they said.
To pass the time we visited a local museum. I have pictures of the outside of the museum but not the inside, because that cost extra. The museum was full of artifacts from time passed including from the reign of King Stephan. He was a violent ruler of the area. Most things were labeled in Russian, Moldovan, and English which was helpful. There was a large section about the Communist Reign and World War II. Posters, propaganda promoting the benefits of Communism, lies- all lies. Sergei shared a little bit about how it had affected his own family; how much of what his grandparents owned was taken from them. Viewing the photographs and processions of people killed in concentration camps was a sobering experience. If you were forced to move to a ghetto, what would you pack? Letters to loved ones, reading glasses, shoes- they bring a human element to that war that seems so far away and so long ago. It brings a reality to the fact that the world is a place full of evil men. The museum also had a large diorama of a war scene. It was set in the countryside in a small village. Death and destruction lay everywhere.
The last exhibit we visited was a visiting exhibit of treasure. Gold and silver jewelry, cutlery, tea sets, and coins from all over the world were locked behind glass. Funny how something is so valuable, yet so useless. (It reminds me of all the people God has called who sit and do nothing.)
Finally, it was time. We returned to the Consulate. My visa was not ready. “15 more minutes”, they said. We waited and waited. The guy came back out. Still not ready. Wait, wait, wait. The lady that had been behind the desk came out. Not ready but 15 more minutes. Wait, Wait, Wait… Every time someone came out we ran to the gate but no, it wasn’t ready. I watched as the lady who had sneaked in on my sweater left with her documents she needed. Finally sometime between 6 and 6:30 they came out, my passport in hand(It was easy to spot because it was the only dark blue one) with my VISA pasted inside. A sigh of relief settled over me and so did hunger and fatigue. We had run back and forth all day and didn’t stop to eat. Together, the four of us made our way back home and enjoyed dinner, fellowship, and of course strawberries.
I traveled to Moldova in search of a Visa and found a true friend. Eira speaks Spanish, Russian, and some English. She was able to help me a lot with my Russian. We were able to learn from each other. It was also the first time in a while I was able to hang out with someone my own age. This was an unexpected blessing. Having been away from her own friends and family for two months she also longed for friendship. God used Eira to refresh and encourage my soul.
Before Kathy and I left to return to Ukraine, we joined Eira and Sergei in songs of worship. As Sergei played the guitar, we sang together, they in Russian and Kathy and I in English. Tyson even chimed in with a howl or two. The body of God is an amazing thing that transcends all culture and language.
This past Sunday Eira and Sergei were able to open the doors of their church for the first time (well a classroom in a school for now). Please Pray for Sergei and Eira as they follow God’s call on their lives. It isn’t easy to leave your home for a foreign land, even if most people do speak your language. Pray for them as they learn the Moldovan Language. Pray that they would build relationships with the people in their community. Pray for the church they are starting, that it would be a place where people are drawn by the love of God and transformed by a relationship with Him.
Passport Trivia: While in the Consulate, I noticed many people had two passports each a different color. When I asked Eira, I learned that Ukrainians (and many other countries) have two passports. One passport you receive when you are 16. It is used in the country. Any time after you have the first passport you can apply for the second, which allows you to travel outside the U.S. Children here do not have their own passport, their information and pictures are added to a page of their parent’s passport.
Open Your Eyes
When I was a child we sang a song in Sunday School that said, “Oh, be careful little eyes what you see, for the Father up above is looking down in love, Oh be careful little eyes what you see.” Throughout the Bible scriptures can be found discussing eye, what is seen, what is unseen, what the Lord sees. There are stories with people who have lost their sight and stories of those it has been given. In the book of Judges, they gouged Sampson’s eyes out so he could not see. In 1Kings a prophet disguises his identity by merely covering his eyes. In Ezra chapter 9, we find that God brightens the eyes of the people giving them grace, security, and relief. In Psalm 13:3 David pleads with God to restore the sparkle to his eyes or he will die. Throughout the Psalms we are told to look at the great things God has done to see the downfall of the wicked. Over and over again we see eyes blurred with tears. In many books we find references to people who have eyes, yet cannot see. In the Song of Solomon we hear two love struck individuals discussing the beauty that lies in one’s eyes, while Proverbs warns us of the deceptive eyes of the adulterous woman. In the book of Mark we are told it is better for us to pluck out our eyes than to sin. In Luke, Jesus told the disciples, “Blessed are the eyes that see what you see.” In Acts God takes Saul’s sight on the road to Damascus. Later after he has become Paul God sends him to the Gentiles saying, “open their eyes and turn them from darkness to light, and from the power of Satan to God, so that they may receive forgiveness of sins and a place among those who are sanctified by faith in me.”
When I crossed the border from Ukraine to Moldova, the border patrol officer took my passport and looked shrewdly at the picture inside it and then at me and back at the portrait. What was he looking at? My eyes. Why? Because you can easily change the appearance of your hair by coloring and cutting it. Make-up can make you look like a completely different person. Even after plastic surgery your eyes give you away. You can learn a lot about a person, simply by looking into their eyes. When was the last time you looked into someone’s eyes? What did you see? Did you look deep or just take a quick glance, so you wouldn’t seem nosey? What was lying behind them? When was the last time you let someone look you in the eyes? To see what is really going on inside?
Matthew 6:22-23 says, “Your eye is a lamp that provides light for your body. When your eye is good, your whole body is filled with light. But when your eye is bad, your whole body is filled with darkness. And if the light you think you have is actually darkness, how deep that darkness is!”
What is in your eye? Light or darkness? While I was in Odessa, two of the street boys Natalia and Kathy have started building relationships with came to eat a meal. As I sat across from a boy of only 17 years, it was difficult for me to look into his eyes. They were distant, hardened by years of struggling to survive. His eyes were filled with sorrow, with anger. What had he seen? I cannot begin to imagine. My heart broke as I sat there. I didn’t know what to say or what to do.
Moses told the Israelites in Deuteronomy 4:9 “But watch out! Be careful never to forget what you yourself have seen. Do not let these memories escape from your mind as long as you live! And be sure to pass them on to your children and grandchildren.”
In my short 24 years of life I have seen amazing things. I have witnessed God’s hand at work. When am walking through the valleys of life, these memories serve as strength. When people ask questions about my faith I can share stories of his healing power. They are the source of my hope for the future. But when I looked at Artum, I realized his memories were very different. If you dug through his past you would not find stories of hope but stories of surviving on a day to day basis. So how do you light the lamp in the dark abyss of someone’s eyes? Can it be done? According to the scripture it can. But what is our part? I believe we can start by opening our eyes to those who have no light.
Proverbs 28:27says, He who gives to the poor will lack nothing, but he who closes his eyes to them receives many curses.
You may be thinking, I barely have light myself, how am I supposed to share it? I can tell you now that if you close your eyes to the needs around you any light that you may have will be snuffed out like a candle under a jar. But when we open our eyes, open them wide to see the needs around us, open them wide so that others can see the light of God in our eyes, they will be drawn to God, their light will be lit, and our own light will become greater.
I am not sure what will become of Artum. I can tell you that I work with 17 wonderful children on a day to day basis, who once had no hope, no light. It is still a struggle for some of them to even have a glimmer in their eye let alone a light. The darkness from their past haunts them. But everyday they are fed, they are clothed, they are nurtured, and they are given a little more hope for the future. Please, open your eyes to hurting world around you so that others may find hope.
Giving
During my travels away from Vapnyarka I have spent time with two women who have touched my life. As I have mentioned before, there is another volunteer in Ukraine until July. Kathy is helping Natalia plant a church in Ukraine and building relationships with the Odessa locals and street children. Laura, a new believer and a local Odessian has joined their team. Both Kathy and Laura have left a lasting impression on my heart.
Kathy is a seasoned Christian who has clung to God in the good times and trying moments. Her spirit and her smile are welcoming to all. Many times, when she and Natalia have visited Vapnyarka she has spent time listening too and encouraging me. Kathy also went with me as I journeyed to Moldova. It was a great blessing to have her with me as I crossed borders and faced the nervousness of getting my Visa. Her prayers are encouraging and her faith inspiring. With great boldness she uses the gifts God has given her to show love to all those she comes in contact with. I am honored to work beside her. I can only hope that someday I will be able to acquire such a faith.
In contrast Laura, is a new Christian who for the first time in her life has found a love that she has craved since her creation. There is hope in her eyes. She prays for faith. Laura has little but gives much. Every day I was in Odessa she was bringing things for the three young girls from the Vapnyarka children’s center who were staying with Natalia for a week. She helped make arrangements for Kathy and my bus trip to Moldova. All her energy and all her resources, everything she has she gives without hesitation. Her joy is overflowing. As I watch Laura, I am inspired and reminded of the hope, joy, and love that come with a relationship with God.
No matter where we are in our journey with God, if we have just started or if we have been walking with him for years He uses our lives to inspire, encourage, and draw others to him. Kathy and Laura are very different people with different testimonies but they hold one thing in common; they are both willing to give, to surrender what they have to God. By serving God they have affected not just me, but many others and will continue to influence many more in the future.
Chernefsi
After a beautiful day at the Black Sea, Natalia and I ran to the train station, where I boarded a train and headed back to Vapnyarka (In the most decorated train compartment I have ever seen). I arrived in Vapnyarka a little after midnight, when home and rested, woke up repacked my bags and left at 2:40 in the afternoon on a Bus to Vinnitsa. In Vinnitsa I joined a team of two college students, Nadine and Jessica, from Eastern Nazarene University and or translator Victoria (Vica-she is Natalia’s youngest daughter). Together we journeyed on by train to Chernefsi, a city in western Ukraine. Chernefsi will celebrate its 600 year anniversary this fall. This antique city displays a variety of architectural influences, having been under the rule of Romania, Austria, and Russia.
Although beautiful and interesting, we did not travel to Chernefsi to see its architecture. We came to work alongside a spirited woman named Vera. Vera is doing something radical in her country. She is working with disabled children and families. The bulk of her work is with families affected by Cerebral Palsy.
A short time before we arrived, I answered a phone call. It was Vera. She was in the hospital. She gave me instructions and we were told someone else would pick us up. When we arrived, Anna was waiting for us. We all squeezed into a cab and enjoyed a bumpy ride on the cobblestone streets to our apartment. After looking around the city and grabbing a bight to eat we got to work. Our first task was to sort through the droves of piles and bags left in our apartment by a team of Drs. Toys, medical supplies, occupational therapy tools, hygiene items, and several things which we were not really sure what they were. We organized it. Put it into boxes and bags, and had a lot of fun doing it. In addition to sorting and organizing we were able to visit the two of the families Vera works with, visit a kids camp, and attend a church service.
For me the highlight of our visit to Chernefsi was visiting the families. We visited two. The first was Cottia and her mother Luda. Cottia is eighteen years old and has cerebral palsy. Her father left them a few months ago. She has a brother and two sisters. Her brother lives in the United States and is able to help financially. One of her sisters lives in Kiev where she is studying at the University and her other sister is currently traveling in Poland with her dance team. Her mother takes care of her by herself. Luda must dress, change, and feed Cottia. Cottia is not able to sit up by herself. Her mother had to hold her up so she could watch the puppet show the girls performed. Luda is one of the bravest women I have met. Every day she cares for her child. She puts her in a stroller and takes her down the stairs. People stare, they give her dirty looks. When she has to get on a bus, seldom do people help her. Luda asked us about disabilities in the United States. She asked about how people were treated, if there was any help. She also shared how having a child with a disability has affected her. Spending all her time caring for her child, her friends began to disappear. Vera is one who appeared instead of disappeared. Through Vera’s program, Luda and Cottia meet with other parents and children with disabilities every other week. They do activities. They socialize. They are not alone.
Svetta, is the second girl we visited with. She is 30 years old. She has down syndrome. She and her mother also attend Vera’s club. Our time with Svetta was spent helping her learn how to tie her shoes. We all took a turn helping her; moving her hands, demonstrating, holding the foam shoe for her. Ever y time she completed a bow we applauded. Her face was lit by a huge grin. Every time we finished tying all four foam shoes we would count them with excitement and reward her with some candy for working so hard. Svetta’s mother is also having difficulty convincing her to brush her hair (a struggle any parent can relate to). We brought her a beautiful pink princess brush and pink flower hair ties. She brushed her hair and for the rest of our time there we called her Princess Svetta. This brought a smile to her face every time. Svetta still cannot tie her shoes all alone. It will take much more practice and reinforcement. But she did have fun. Her mother smiled. She was grateful to have someone help her. A few hours time is not much but it can truly make a difference that will last a life time.
Thankfully by the end of our stay, Vera was out of the hospitol. The little time we were able to spend with her was inspiring. Please pray for her and her ministry. It is a new frontier in Ukraine and she has a lot of hard work before her.
Thank You
If you are reading this paragraph you have just finished reading my longest blog journal to date. Thank you for your time and patience. In the future I will do my best to write shorter increments more often. But I am not quite finished. You are supposed to save the best for last. This is not the best but it is the most important. Above you have read stories of people who are making a difference in the lives of others and you have read about some of the people they have touched. Thank you for being a part of their work. Please continue to pray for the ministry in Ukraine and in all the Former Soviet States. Please continue to reach out to others as you have reached out to me. May you be richly blessed for the work you have done.
2 Corinthians 4:4-6 "The god of this age has blinded the minds of unbelievers, so that they cannot see the light of the gospel of the glory of Christ, who is the image of God. For we do not preach ourselves, but Jesus Christ as Lord, and ourselves as your servants for Jesus' sake. For God, who said, "Let light shine out of darkness," made his light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Christ."
Personal Thoughts:
Those who have been on a short term mission trip know that it takes weeks or even months, after your return, to unravel what God has done inside of you. I have come to the realization that it will not take me months, but years and perhaps even the rest of my life to unfold the changes taking place in my heart and to fully understand my experiences. Being in an unfamiliar environment, I have felt emotions I did not know existed. I have experienced fear, anger, sorrow, and loneliness as I have never known them before. My heart has been broken over and over again into a million pieces by the things I have become witness to. I have cried more than I thought possible. And yet I have felt the hand of God closer than I have ever felt it. My heart overflows with joy. My perspective of God has changed as I see him in places I have never seen him before, or never expected to find him. My heart is filled with thanksgiving for the church around the world and for the love of my brothers and sisters in Christ. There encouragement has been a great blessing. There is much unknown about the path that lies before me. The journey I am on has given me the opportunity to learn how to trust God in new ways.
A couple of weeks ago I traveled to Moldova, where I applied for and received my Visa. This allows me to stay in Ukraine one year rather than only ninety days. This was a scary process for me. Not so much because I had to travel to another unknown country, stay with people I did not know, or because of the slight chance that they would deny me of the Visa I sought, but because I knew that receiving a Visa meant I would be here another ten months instead of a few weeks. It was an internal battle I faced. It would have been easy for me to pack my bags and go home; home- to the familiar, to a place that I am loved, a place with just as many ministry opportunities, a place where I wouldn’t have to struggle with the language, where I know the customs, a place where I can get around on my own, be independent, be understood. It would be nice to eat a big juicy cheeseburger, to wakeboard, to flush toilet paper and to shower every day. That would have been easy. I would have no problem coming home if that is what God told me to. But that isn’t what God said. God said, “Stay. The work I have for you here is not finished yet.” This was confirmed through the encouraging words of many. “Yes God, I will stay if this is where you want me.” I surrendered this decision to Him. This is a decision that has brought me great peace. I returned from Moldova with much more than a Visa, which I will discuss later. I now have a new return date of March 19, 2009. Please continue to pray for me throughout the duration of my stay. Pray for faith, for strength, for wisdom when making decisions and when working with children. Pray that my eyes would be open to their needs. Pray that my heart would be open to God’s calling. Pray for my understanding and learning of the language. Pray that I would be brave in this unfamiliar land. God bless all of you who have been praying for me. Your prayers have made a difference, not only in my life but in all those, God brings into my life. I thank God for you. God has used your faith to strengthen mine.
MOLDOVA:
When I entered Moldova I knew very little about this small country. Riding the bus through the countryside, we saw large rolling hills, farm lands, and shepherds herding their sheep. As we neared the capital city of Chisinau, we saw bill boards and signs in the Moldovan language, which is basically the same as Romanian. The language was a blessing to Kathy and I because the letters and many of the words were closer to English than Russian. After about a 5 hour bus ride we were met at the bus station by Eira and Sergei, missionaries to Moldova. Eira’s family immigrated to Moscow from Cuba when she was six. Sergei was born and raised in Ukraine. They have been married for a year and moved to Moldova two months ago to plant a church and start ministry in Moldova.
With open arms, they welcomed us into their apartment. Their dog Tyson, they described as small but with a big fighting spirit. This we found was true. He was a little ball of energy and thankfully, friendly. Their refrigerator and freezer were filled with strawberries, sent by Sergei’s family. We ate these with sugar after every meal and sometimes in between with tea. Eira and Sergei were wonderful hosts, both with an amazing sense of humor. Kathy and I felt right at home.
Our first evening, we were able to walk around part of the city. It was beautiful. Chisinau was the cleanest city I have seen in my travels overseas. The people were friendly. We ate dinner at a local restaurant. We sampled some of the local cuisine. Afterward, we ate Ice cream and enjoyed the parks with green trees, water fountains, and flowers in full bloom. It was relaxing and soothing to my weary and nervous soul.
After a good night’s sleep we woke early so we could be at the Ukrainian Consulate when it opened. We arrived just before 9:00 and there was already a throng (Ukrainians don’t stand in lines very often) of people waiting outside. We joined them and waited about 20 minutes before they opened the gate. One man came out and started taking names. Ukrainians first, he said. A few people were allowed in the building. A few minutes later he returned with his clip board. People were trying to get his attention to be added. Sergei got his attention and told him an American wanted to get her Visa. He let us in. Sergei and Kathy waited outside while Eira and I made our way through the crowd and through the gate. As we passed through the crowd, I felt someone grab a hold of my sweater. When we were inside the gate I realized, a lady was bypassing the chaotic system all together. She was sneaking in by making the guard think that she was with us. Once inside she let go and lingered a bit. We continued inside the building and into a room to wait in another line. We got the papers. Using the guide on the wall we filled out the information. After waiting in line again, we got them turned in. We needed pictures, which we did not have. Eira and I left the Consulate, asked several people where a photo place was and after jumping on a Marshutka (A Van/Bus) we found one in a nearby neighborhood. While waiting 20 minutes for my mug shots(They are pretty bad) to be developed we exchanged the money I would need to pay for the Visa. When we returned to the photo shop exactly 20 minutes later the photos were not quite finished. As we waited a few minutes more my heart was racing. The few minutes felt like hours. We had to get them back to the Consulate before they closed for lunch hour at 12:30. With pictures in hand we ran to grab a Marshutka back. We ran(literally) past Kathy & Sergei, past the crowd and up to the gate. Out of breath, we entered the building and found ourselves in another line. Thankfully people allowed us in front of them since we only had to hand in pictures. “Come back at 4:30” they said.
To pass the time we visited a local museum. I have pictures of the outside of the museum but not the inside, because that cost extra. The museum was full of artifacts from time passed including from the reign of King Stephan. He was a violent ruler of the area. Most things were labeled in Russian, Moldovan, and English which was helpful. There was a large section about the Communist Reign and World War II. Posters, propaganda promoting the benefits of Communism, lies- all lies. Sergei shared a little bit about how it had affected his own family; how much of what his grandparents owned was taken from them. Viewing the photographs and processions of people killed in concentration camps was a sobering experience. If you were forced to move to a ghetto, what would you pack? Letters to loved ones, reading glasses, shoes- they bring a human element to that war that seems so far away and so long ago. It brings a reality to the fact that the world is a place full of evil men. The museum also had a large diorama of a war scene. It was set in the countryside in a small village. Death and destruction lay everywhere.
The last exhibit we visited was a visiting exhibit of treasure. Gold and silver jewelry, cutlery, tea sets, and coins from all over the world were locked behind glass. Funny how something is so valuable, yet so useless. (It reminds me of all the people God has called who sit and do nothing.)
Finally, it was time. We returned to the Consulate. My visa was not ready. “15 more minutes”, they said. We waited and waited. The guy came back out. Still not ready. Wait, wait, wait. The lady that had been behind the desk came out. Not ready but 15 more minutes. Wait, Wait, Wait… Every time someone came out we ran to the gate but no, it wasn’t ready. I watched as the lady who had sneaked in on my sweater left with her documents she needed. Finally sometime between 6 and 6:30 they came out, my passport in hand(It was easy to spot because it was the only dark blue one) with my VISA pasted inside. A sigh of relief settled over me and so did hunger and fatigue. We had run back and forth all day and didn’t stop to eat. Together, the four of us made our way back home and enjoyed dinner, fellowship, and of course strawberries.
I traveled to Moldova in search of a Visa and found a true friend. Eira speaks Spanish, Russian, and some English. She was able to help me a lot with my Russian. We were able to learn from each other. It was also the first time in a while I was able to hang out with someone my own age. This was an unexpected blessing. Having been away from her own friends and family for two months she also longed for friendship. God used Eira to refresh and encourage my soul.
Before Kathy and I left to return to Ukraine, we joined Eira and Sergei in songs of worship. As Sergei played the guitar, we sang together, they in Russian and Kathy and I in English. Tyson even chimed in with a howl or two. The body of God is an amazing thing that transcends all culture and language.
This past Sunday Eira and Sergei were able to open the doors of their church for the first time (well a classroom in a school for now). Please Pray for Sergei and Eira as they follow God’s call on their lives. It isn’t easy to leave your home for a foreign land, even if most people do speak your language. Pray for them as they learn the Moldovan Language. Pray that they would build relationships with the people in their community. Pray for the church they are starting, that it would be a place where people are drawn by the love of God and transformed by a relationship with Him.
Passport Trivia: While in the Consulate, I noticed many people had two passports each a different color. When I asked Eira, I learned that Ukrainians (and many other countries) have two passports. One passport you receive when you are 16. It is used in the country. Any time after you have the first passport you can apply for the second, which allows you to travel outside the U.S. Children here do not have their own passport, their information and pictures are added to a page of their parent’s passport.
Open Your Eyes
When I was a child we sang a song in Sunday School that said, “Oh, be careful little eyes what you see, for the Father up above is looking down in love, Oh be careful little eyes what you see.” Throughout the Bible scriptures can be found discussing eye, what is seen, what is unseen, what the Lord sees. There are stories with people who have lost their sight and stories of those it has been given. In the book of Judges, they gouged Sampson’s eyes out so he could not see. In 1Kings a prophet disguises his identity by merely covering his eyes. In Ezra chapter 9, we find that God brightens the eyes of the people giving them grace, security, and relief. In Psalm 13:3 David pleads with God to restore the sparkle to his eyes or he will die. Throughout the Psalms we are told to look at the great things God has done to see the downfall of the wicked. Over and over again we see eyes blurred with tears. In many books we find references to people who have eyes, yet cannot see. In the Song of Solomon we hear two love struck individuals discussing the beauty that lies in one’s eyes, while Proverbs warns us of the deceptive eyes of the adulterous woman. In the book of Mark we are told it is better for us to pluck out our eyes than to sin. In Luke, Jesus told the disciples, “Blessed are the eyes that see what you see.” In Acts God takes Saul’s sight on the road to Damascus. Later after he has become Paul God sends him to the Gentiles saying, “open their eyes and turn them from darkness to light, and from the power of Satan to God, so that they may receive forgiveness of sins and a place among those who are sanctified by faith in me.”
When I crossed the border from Ukraine to Moldova, the border patrol officer took my passport and looked shrewdly at the picture inside it and then at me and back at the portrait. What was he looking at? My eyes. Why? Because you can easily change the appearance of your hair by coloring and cutting it. Make-up can make you look like a completely different person. Even after plastic surgery your eyes give you away. You can learn a lot about a person, simply by looking into their eyes. When was the last time you looked into someone’s eyes? What did you see? Did you look deep or just take a quick glance, so you wouldn’t seem nosey? What was lying behind them? When was the last time you let someone look you in the eyes? To see what is really going on inside?
Matthew 6:22-23 says, “Your eye is a lamp that provides light for your body. When your eye is good, your whole body is filled with light. But when your eye is bad, your whole body is filled with darkness. And if the light you think you have is actually darkness, how deep that darkness is!”
What is in your eye? Light or darkness? While I was in Odessa, two of the street boys Natalia and Kathy have started building relationships with came to eat a meal. As I sat across from a boy of only 17 years, it was difficult for me to look into his eyes. They were distant, hardened by years of struggling to survive. His eyes were filled with sorrow, with anger. What had he seen? I cannot begin to imagine. My heart broke as I sat there. I didn’t know what to say or what to do.
Moses told the Israelites in Deuteronomy 4:9 “But watch out! Be careful never to forget what you yourself have seen. Do not let these memories escape from your mind as long as you live! And be sure to pass them on to your children and grandchildren.”
In my short 24 years of life I have seen amazing things. I have witnessed God’s hand at work. When am walking through the valleys of life, these memories serve as strength. When people ask questions about my faith I can share stories of his healing power. They are the source of my hope for the future. But when I looked at Artum, I realized his memories were very different. If you dug through his past you would not find stories of hope but stories of surviving on a day to day basis. So how do you light the lamp in the dark abyss of someone’s eyes? Can it be done? According to the scripture it can. But what is our part? I believe we can start by opening our eyes to those who have no light.
Proverbs 28:27says, He who gives to the poor will lack nothing, but he who closes his eyes to them receives many curses.
You may be thinking, I barely have light myself, how am I supposed to share it? I can tell you now that if you close your eyes to the needs around you any light that you may have will be snuffed out like a candle under a jar. But when we open our eyes, open them wide to see the needs around us, open them wide so that others can see the light of God in our eyes, they will be drawn to God, their light will be lit, and our own light will become greater.
I am not sure what will become of Artum. I can tell you that I work with 17 wonderful children on a day to day basis, who once had no hope, no light. It is still a struggle for some of them to even have a glimmer in their eye let alone a light. The darkness from their past haunts them. But everyday they are fed, they are clothed, they are nurtured, and they are given a little more hope for the future. Please, open your eyes to hurting world around you so that others may find hope.
Giving
During my travels away from Vapnyarka I have spent time with two women who have touched my life. As I have mentioned before, there is another volunteer in Ukraine until July. Kathy is helping Natalia plant a church in Ukraine and building relationships with the Odessa locals and street children. Laura, a new believer and a local Odessian has joined their team. Both Kathy and Laura have left a lasting impression on my heart.
Kathy is a seasoned Christian who has clung to God in the good times and trying moments. Her spirit and her smile are welcoming to all. Many times, when she and Natalia have visited Vapnyarka she has spent time listening too and encouraging me. Kathy also went with me as I journeyed to Moldova. It was a great blessing to have her with me as I crossed borders and faced the nervousness of getting my Visa. Her prayers are encouraging and her faith inspiring. With great boldness she uses the gifts God has given her to show love to all those she comes in contact with. I am honored to work beside her. I can only hope that someday I will be able to acquire such a faith.
In contrast Laura, is a new Christian who for the first time in her life has found a love that she has craved since her creation. There is hope in her eyes. She prays for faith. Laura has little but gives much. Every day I was in Odessa she was bringing things for the three young girls from the Vapnyarka children’s center who were staying with Natalia for a week. She helped make arrangements for Kathy and my bus trip to Moldova. All her energy and all her resources, everything she has she gives without hesitation. Her joy is overflowing. As I watch Laura, I am inspired and reminded of the hope, joy, and love that come with a relationship with God.
No matter where we are in our journey with God, if we have just started or if we have been walking with him for years He uses our lives to inspire, encourage, and draw others to him. Kathy and Laura are very different people with different testimonies but they hold one thing in common; they are both willing to give, to surrender what they have to God. By serving God they have affected not just me, but many others and will continue to influence many more in the future.
Chernefsi
After a beautiful day at the Black Sea, Natalia and I ran to the train station, where I boarded a train and headed back to Vapnyarka (In the most decorated train compartment I have ever seen). I arrived in Vapnyarka a little after midnight, when home and rested, woke up repacked my bags and left at 2:40 in the afternoon on a Bus to Vinnitsa. In Vinnitsa I joined a team of two college students, Nadine and Jessica, from Eastern Nazarene University and or translator Victoria (Vica-she is Natalia’s youngest daughter). Together we journeyed on by train to Chernefsi, a city in western Ukraine. Chernefsi will celebrate its 600 year anniversary this fall. This antique city displays a variety of architectural influences, having been under the rule of Romania, Austria, and Russia.
Although beautiful and interesting, we did not travel to Chernefsi to see its architecture. We came to work alongside a spirited woman named Vera. Vera is doing something radical in her country. She is working with disabled children and families. The bulk of her work is with families affected by Cerebral Palsy.
A short time before we arrived, I answered a phone call. It was Vera. She was in the hospital. She gave me instructions and we were told someone else would pick us up. When we arrived, Anna was waiting for us. We all squeezed into a cab and enjoyed a bumpy ride on the cobblestone streets to our apartment. After looking around the city and grabbing a bight to eat we got to work. Our first task was to sort through the droves of piles and bags left in our apartment by a team of Drs. Toys, medical supplies, occupational therapy tools, hygiene items, and several things which we were not really sure what they were. We organized it. Put it into boxes and bags, and had a lot of fun doing it. In addition to sorting and organizing we were able to visit the two of the families Vera works with, visit a kids camp, and attend a church service.
For me the highlight of our visit to Chernefsi was visiting the families. We visited two. The first was Cottia and her mother Luda. Cottia is eighteen years old and has cerebral palsy. Her father left them a few months ago. She has a brother and two sisters. Her brother lives in the United States and is able to help financially. One of her sisters lives in Kiev where she is studying at the University and her other sister is currently traveling in Poland with her dance team. Her mother takes care of her by herself. Luda must dress, change, and feed Cottia. Cottia is not able to sit up by herself. Her mother had to hold her up so she could watch the puppet show the girls performed. Luda is one of the bravest women I have met. Every day she cares for her child. She puts her in a stroller and takes her down the stairs. People stare, they give her dirty looks. When she has to get on a bus, seldom do people help her. Luda asked us about disabilities in the United States. She asked about how people were treated, if there was any help. She also shared how having a child with a disability has affected her. Spending all her time caring for her child, her friends began to disappear. Vera is one who appeared instead of disappeared. Through Vera’s program, Luda and Cottia meet with other parents and children with disabilities every other week. They do activities. They socialize. They are not alone.
Svetta, is the second girl we visited with. She is 30 years old. She has down syndrome. She and her mother also attend Vera’s club. Our time with Svetta was spent helping her learn how to tie her shoes. We all took a turn helping her; moving her hands, demonstrating, holding the foam shoe for her. Ever y time she completed a bow we applauded. Her face was lit by a huge grin. Every time we finished tying all four foam shoes we would count them with excitement and reward her with some candy for working so hard. Svetta’s mother is also having difficulty convincing her to brush her hair (a struggle any parent can relate to). We brought her a beautiful pink princess brush and pink flower hair ties. She brushed her hair and for the rest of our time there we called her Princess Svetta. This brought a smile to her face every time. Svetta still cannot tie her shoes all alone. It will take much more practice and reinforcement. But she did have fun. Her mother smiled. She was grateful to have someone help her. A few hours time is not much but it can truly make a difference that will last a life time.
Thankfully by the end of our stay, Vera was out of the hospitol. The little time we were able to spend with her was inspiring. Please pray for her and her ministry. It is a new frontier in Ukraine and she has a lot of hard work before her.
Thank You
If you are reading this paragraph you have just finished reading my longest blog journal to date. Thank you for your time and patience. In the future I will do my best to write shorter increments more often. But I am not quite finished. You are supposed to save the best for last. This is not the best but it is the most important. Above you have read stories of people who are making a difference in the lives of others and you have read about some of the people they have touched. Thank you for being a part of their work. Please continue to pray for the ministry in Ukraine and in all the Former Soviet States. Please continue to reach out to others as you have reached out to me. May you be richly blessed for the work you have done.
2 Corinthians 4:4-6 "The god of this age has blinded the minds of unbelievers, so that they cannot see the light of the gospel of the glory of Christ, who is the image of God. For we do not preach ourselves, but Jesus Christ as Lord, and ourselves as your servants for Jesus' sake. For God, who said, "Let light shine out of darkness," made his light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Christ."
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